blairmacg: (FeatherFlow)
Around January of this year, I discussed my attempts to preventatively address the depression dips I'd faced over past winters.

It was usually in retrospect that I realized I felt so terrible because depression, and that, for me, that depression clawed into me around January/February. Y'know, that Seasonal Affective Disorder thing. Others face far worse SAD than I do, so I don't want to make too big of a deal out of it, but neither do I want to discount the somewhat borderline experience of those like me. So the best way I can describe where January and February sometimes led me is this: I did not at any time want to shoot myself in the head, but I could clearly see how and when it could become a viable option.

Last spring, I'd intended to share how things worked out as a result of different efforts. So time and stuff got a bit tight, I don't think I every got around to it. So let's re-cap the season now with the intention of looking ahead:

First, the Vitamin D thing. I've had bunches of people brush this off because they heard "research said" Vitamin D has no impact on SAD in particular and depression in general. Take it from someone who actually reads the national and international studies, including the comparison of dosage, timing, and supplement quality. A few minutes of warm-season sunshine prompts your body to produce about 10K IU of Vitamin D. Most of the "It doesn't work!" whining is the result of daily dosages that are less than a third that amount OR the study uses a monthly mega-dose.

So I take 4000 IU to 6000 IU a day. And you know what? I feel a hell of a lot better in the Januarys and Februarys when I do that than in the ones in which I don't. And though I indeed felt down and unproductive last winter, and had a horrible hollowed-out feeling over losing Ty, I did not bottom out as I had previously. And it only costs me about thirty bucks over the course of the winter. There is not even a question of that continuing! Of course I'll be taking the Vitamin D.


What about the bright window decals and the birdfeeders? Y'know, these by themselves are not SAD counters I'd depend upon. But they did give me an opportunity to smile every single day. Now, I miss watching the birds. I miss seeing bright colors spill into my living room with the dawn. Alas, I don't have an eastern facing window that is mine to control right now, but I have picked up a couple birdfeeders.

And I gotta admit, one of the big draws of Colorado over Indiana is the amount of winter sunshine I can expect. I was fast running out of the ability to cope with days and days of gloomy light and gray landscapes. Even the cold doesn't affect me nearly so much as when I can see the sun, and colors, and brightness.

So I'm stepping into this winter with more hope than in previous years, and am looking forward to reporting good results.

Anyone else out there with winter survival tactics or concerns?
blairmacg: (FeatherFlow)

Last winter was… rough around these parts.  The temps were abnormally low.  Cloud cover was the norm.  Snow and ice lingered.  School closings were so commonplace, the local kids had perhaps two weeks of normal attendance between December and March.  Deprived of the sun, unable to feel productive, stalled in any professional endeavor that required travel, I came face-to-face with winter depression.

The last time that happened, my son and I were living poor on a rural farm.  Transportation was difficult in the best weather–astronomical gas prices combined with long distances severely limited trips to town–but became a fearful battle when snowstorms and ice swept in.  Driving six miles through open fields, when the only indication of where the road might be are the widely-spaced mailboxes is… stressful.

This year, I was determined to set positive things in place so the winter wouldn’t rip my heart out.  Really, last year was horrible enough to frighten me into being much more proactive this time around.

Working from inside the body, I stocked up on a high-quality D3 supplement.  I take 4000 to 6000 IU of D3 every day.  Every single day. I’d done that in previous winters, and just didn’t make it a priority last year because… I don’t know.  Perhaps because I got complacent.  But by the time I thought Vitamin D just might take the edge off my desire to curl up the closet until June, playing catch-up was hard.  I’m not taking that risk this year.

Outside, I put up additional bird feeders.  A skilled birdwatcher I am not, and I have no desire to become one.  But I discovered watching the birds brings me joy and calm.  So I keep the feeders hanging around my front porch filled, and spend a my morning coffee-time watching the birds.  Getting the no-waste feed makes this less of a clean-up hassle as well.  Besides, Gambit-pup watches birds with feline-like interest, so he gets entertained as well.

In the house, I changed out curtains–trading the light-blocking ones in my east-facing bedroom for white sailcloth that lets in all the dawn’s early light. I also put a floral window decal on the window’s lower half, which not only provides privacy, but keeps my neighbor’s silly floodlight from illuminating my bed. Thus I sleep with the curtains open and enjoy the first possible moments of rising sunlight.

My back door also faces east, and since its window looks directly into the living room, I’d either kept it curtained or used a plain etched-glass window decal so I didn’t feel as if anyone could stand on the back deck and watch me sit on the couch. Seeing the morning light blocked out or whitewashed bummed me out, so I found another window decal that would splash color into the house every morning. I gotta say, I smile every day the sun comes through that window.

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And on top of all that, I’m counting down to spring. I remind myself we’ve already reached the middle of January, that the winter hasn’t been nearly as harsh as last year, that I have to make it through only two more months of true winter risk before things begin to improve.

Tomorrow we’ll have temps around 40. 40! It’s a gift! I plan to go outside and lay weedblock stuff in the garden. Because gardens and outside and sunshine are all elements of hope and promise. Because winter won’t last forever.

blairmacg: (FeatherFlow)
Thank goodness I flew home yesterday! By the time I touched down in Indy, it was about forty degrees -- a mere thirty degrees below what I'd been living in for the past week, so hey -- and there was sun. This morning, the wind chill is in the subzero region, snow is falling, and winds are gusting. Schools are closed and flights have been cancelled. A woman interviewed for the local news this morning summed it up. "I'm over it! I'm over it!"

Truly, I'd be very sad if I hadn't been able to get home. I missed my son!

Speaking of the son, he did just marvelously on his own. He had to navigate extremely messy roads in town and in the city, manage his time when schedules changed unexpectedly, do the raw-food feeding for the dogs, and keep up his school work. But he has figured out that, when the time comes for him to move out, he doesn't want to live alone. And he said he'd much rather travel with me next time than stay home alone.

And the conference! Amazing! Extremely high expectations were set before a group of driven, professional educators, and nearly everyone rose to the challenge. So many times in the last decade, parents and teachers have told me they wished their classrooms could run with the same focus and discipline as my karate classes. Now I have strategies to make it happen that is grounded in high regard and respect for the student, that respects the students' voice and choices, AND gives teachers a way to step off the frustration-go-round. Coolest of all? The strategies are what I've been using for years in karate classes. For me, the week's learning was less about hearing new things as it was learning a translation of things I already knew.

I met incredible people from diverse backgrounds, talked martial arts with folks from different styles, discussed the evolution of education, debated legal issues, and listened to stories about military experience, law enforcement challenges, personal struggles, and a thousand other things. And that was in addition to the conference!

Now, I'll be taking a few days to review the administrative side of things, then I'll be setting appointments. (Actually, I already have two appointments for next week, but don't want to add more until I feel more grounded in some of the business information.)

And tonight? Well, karate has already been cancelled, meaning I've taught a mere three of the last thirty days. Also meaning I get to write Sand of Bone!
blairmacg: (FeatherFlow)
Here's what it looked like from my back porch, Saturday morning.
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blairmacg: (FeatherFlow)

100_2193

That's my outdoor solar lamp. (Frost is covering the little panel on top.) The citronella candle is hiding behind it.

The boy has taken himself off to work, packing Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner. The remaining leftovers are packaged and/or frozen for future meals. The turkey carcass is tucked in the freezer for future soup, and the dogs are mightily disappointed they weren't allowed to take it outside for themselves. (Raw bones are okay, but cooked bones are not.)

Now I'm settling in with warm cranberry wine, goat cheese and sourdough. I've a little noveling to do today.


Making the 50K NaNo goal isn't going to happen, but I did get 20K of first-draft fiction down. This is a big deal, since my fiction projects since Viable Paradise have been all about revising previous works that were salvageable. That 20K of this month is all brand-spanking-new and shiny. Yes, I stumbled around, wrote and deleted at least as much as I kept, and wandered down some research roads when I should have been pounding out words. But I am having fun, so screw the wordcount. :)

Besides, a bunch of other cool things happened this month, and I wouldn't have wanted a miss a single one of them.

(Okay, maybe I'd have wanted to tinker with some of the events, but not miss them altogether. Hee.)
blairmacg: (FeatherFlow)
So, yeah, snow dumped on us last night.  The schools in our county and neighboring counties are all out on Spring Break, which means I'll have to make a judgement call later on karate.  I'm hoping to see a plow come by sometime in the next hour so we can make Dev's tutoring appointment with sliding off the road.

Pics below the cut:
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